Life & Travel / The Miscellaneous Morsels

The Story of My Wisdom Tooth Extraction

I was trying to put up a review of the über-sparkly Urban Decay Moondust Eyeshadows today, but it came out along the lines of glitter! glittahhh! general incoherence…

Because I’m considerate and don’t want to subject you (or the PR peeps) to my hunger-induced ramblings, why don’t we talk about how I got my wisdom tooth extracted instead? It has nothing to do with beauty or food, which makes it absolutely perfect for this blog on Opposite Day.

So I went in at 9:00 this morning expecting to get both my wisdom teeth extracted, but my dentist said he only wanted to pull the one that had started growing out. Of course I was all ok that’s cool too, I guess I can be a lopsided chipmunk. The next thing I wanted to know, naturally, was are you going to give me all the drugs? Unfortunately, the answer was no; he only agreed to give me some drugs (which I later found out were antibiotics, meaning I had to go foraging for painkillers on my own) and no laughing gas. He did inject numbing agent into my gums though, so I was as happy as I could be with a big needle coming at my face. While this was going on, he kept telling me to “relax” and the only thing I could think was You want me to relax with a needle in my mouth? Really?, but it actually wasn’t that bad. In fact, I started nodding off several times, only to be woken up by something wet sliding down my cheek. Then, I’d entertain myself by guessing whether it was blood or spit (it was a mixture of the two, as I later discovered when wiping it off my face). I’m glad I’m sharing my glamorous life with you today.

Of course, this little tale wouldn’t be complete without my signature stick figures, right? While I was nodding off in the chair, my dentist kept asking for various dental implements, and his assistant kept coming back with the wrong thing. From my vantage point, it looked something like this:

The Story of My Wisdom Tooth Extraction | Makeup Morsels

The Story of My Wisdom Tooth Extraction | Makeup Morsels

The Story of My Wisdom Tooth Extraction | Makeup Morsels

Moral of the story: getting your wisdom teeth extracted is kind of like taking a nap, but with more blood and narwhals.

I’ll be back with actual beauty content soon! In the meantime, do you have any tips for post-extraction care? Or horror stories you’d like to share?

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25 thoughts on “The Story of My Wisdom Tooth Extraction

  1. haha this literally made me laugh out loud, MM! I hope you feel better soon–getting wisdom teeth out is no fun at all :/ My wisdom tooth extraction went a bit similarly as well! I got mine out in Aug, I believe. I came in fully expecting to get at least 2 out since both my bottom ones had been giving me some trouble for quite a while (horrible pains, pushing teeth out of the way and making them crooked as all hell, swelling, etc.).

    When I came in though, he told me that I would only be getting one removed. I told him I at least needed 2 out and he wouldn’t listen, so one it was. He also did not offer drugs or laughing gas or anything–just a few shots and some antibiotics. On the way home, I got into a crazy car accident a totaled my car. Yaaaay. And that is the story of my wisdom tooth extraction. Never again man (even though my other wisdom tooth on the bottom side that I TOLD him to remove is now giving me trouble again :/)

    • Glad I brightened someone’s day :P And yikes! I was actually thinking about driving home afterwards, thank god my dad was free to take me there and back. I have a feeling it would not have gone so well.

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you are too funny! you already know, but thankfully my wisdom tooth extraction was divided up into different points of the year and i used about 2 painkillers max and ate chipotle on the day of my 2nd extraction. hooray!
    just remember to swallow all your blood and don’t spit it out (or it’ll hurt more than going into labor), as well as icing your cheek every 10 minutes :) i’m glad you aren’t currently keeling over from pain or anything. :)

    • LOL yes Chipotle, man I hate you right now. I just want a veggie bowl with guac followed by every solid food in existance…it’s gonna be a long week.

      And wahh too late already did because I didn’t get any after care instructions. Let’s hope nothing bad happens :/

  3. HAHAHAHAHA! HILARIOUS! Your pics are THE BEST.
    Marky just had her second wisdom tooth pulled out in the chair last week, so I know where you’re coming from. :) Although, our dentist is some kind of teeth-pulling out wizard. I’ve never seen someone able to pull out teeth as fast and as easy as this woman.

  4. The dentist scares me. Which is of course why my wisdom teeth are still in place.

    Not that I would know if I need them taken out or anything.

    B/c you know, the dentist scares me.

    Hang in there!

  5. mine will have to come out – apparently 3. i for some reason thought i had 4. but i think my dentist at home actually sucks and my parents should see a new dentist lol.

    ANYWAY, i’m going to the oral surgeon for a consultation on monday and i booked an appointment on 6/7 to get them out. I think I’m gonna be knocked out for mine haha.

  6. haha my life would not be complete without your stick figure drawings. I was actually put to sleep when I got my wisdom teeth out, cuz I had four. eww. Anyway, find some painkillers, and make sure everyone babies you okay?

  7. You are so effing hilarious, MM. You’re my favorite.

    I wish my wisdom teeth extraction was as good as yours. I’ll be brief: They took them all out though none had come out of my gums, because they were growing in sideways. They knocked me out FULLY. They didn’t give me antibiotics. I got dry socket. I couldn’t open my mouth for over a week, which is really difficult when you need to yawn. Then, I got a sinus infection. And two ear infections. And such a bad sickness they thought I had pneumonia.

    Long story short, it was dumb. And there weren’t even any narwhals!! The nerve of them…

    • Aw I’m flattered ;) And yeahhh…I wouldn’t exactly call mine good. But definitely nowhere near as bad as yours, yikes! And no narwhals, how dare they?? Glad you’re ok now. I’m praying I don’t get dry socket.

  8. LMAO – you crack me up. I really hope you can eat solids by next weekend because I want to examine your regular hobbity ways in person. :D

    I only had to extract one and it was done in like 5 minutes though it took 20 mins to dose me with laughing gas because I was immune to it. The surgeon was like, “You should feel as if you’ve had a glass of wine or two” and I was like, “GIMME THE WHOLE BOTTLE I FEEL NOTHING.” I was eating solids by day 2, lol.

    • ugh I hope so too. If I’m still looking at pudding cups next week, I’m going to want to punch myself in the face so I don’t have to deal with reality anymore. ANYWAYS, I just cackled at your story. No skimping on Liz!

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