Keep Calm and Smile on: My Teeth-Whitening Regimen

I’m officially confused.  Is it regimen or regime?  Because I hear regime so much that I’m starting to think it’s regime…except a regime is not the same thing as a regimen, is it?  I always thought it was regimen.  Anyways, I digress…

Senior year Prom is supposedly a big deal.  And I’ve had it in the back of my mind every since this Beverly Hills excursion, where I helped my friend pick out a gorgeous, floor-length Banana Republic dress.  Even though I was completely burned out by the time Prom rolled around, I eventually decided to go.  As I got in my car, trying to come up with a plan to shower/change/do hair & makeup in approximately 20 minutes, I randomly burst into tears and drove all the way home crying.  And then I got home and cried for another hour.  By then, I knew I wouldn’t make it in time.  So I sat on the floor and stared at the carpet, wondering how I was going to write an article on Prom without having been there.  The next day I thought it would be a good idea to drink strong black tea at 1 am to help me sleep (LOGIC).  I may have gotten food poisoning somewhere in there too since I spent the day after that in a nauseous blur, trying not to move too much from my perch on a classroom desk and munching a few carrots.  And today, mail!  Why do important college things always get lost in the mail and cause me major anxiety?  I’m sending everything by certified mail from now on.

I digress again…

Despite these minor setbacks, I’m still trying to smile at least 50% of the time.  Partly because I believe in the theory that when you smile, you make yourself happier.  But mostly because I’m vain, and have discovered the joys of drugstore whitening.  This must be shared, my teeth are so much nicer than they were just a week ago.

If that’s not a ringing endorsement, I don’t know what is.  So as promised, my teeth-whitening regimen!

Back in January,

I’m Rocking the Glamorously Tired Look with Eylure False Lashes

As any longtime blog reader will know, dark circles have become a permanent fixture on my face.  This past week, I’ve watched them grow bigger and bigger each day (so proud, I imagine this is what it’s like watching your kids grow up…no?).  The weird thing is, I’ve been skipping dark circle concealer entirely.  This is partly due to the fact that I’m extra groggy in the morning.  Plus, why bother trying to hide my exhaustion if I’m going to be walking into poles all day?

The main reason though, is because I’ve discovered I can enough of a ‘lift’ with mascara and some hastily applied lipstick.  Instead of faking a fresh face, I guess I’m going for the glamorously tired look now.  Oh, who am I kidding?  No glamour involved.  But at least I look semi-polished, and here’s why: lashes make a big difference.  Am I using that colon correctly?

Right, we were talking about lashes.  Well, as obvious as this may sound, big lashes make an even bigger difference.

Which leads me to

Sparkle Like a Mermaid with Hard Candy Glossaholic Lipgloss

Do mermaids sparkle?  Do they sparkle like Hard Candy Glossaholic Lipgloss?  I really have no idea.  In fact, I was going to say ‘sparkle like the Arkenstone,’ but I figured you’d just about had it with the never-ending Tolkien references, and I decided to give you a reprieve.  Aren’t I considerate?

If you’ve ever seen one of those iridescent flaky polishes before, you know how impossible they are to resist.  All that color-shifting, irregularly-shaped shine.  Here’s an example.  And another.  And yet another.  Flakies are quite popular these days.

But you see, for the most part, you can only get your flaky fix with nail polish.  Which is all well and good, but what if I want some of that devastatingly gorgeous iridescence on my lips?  Aha!  You guessed it.  Glossaholic to the rescue.

The first thing you’ll notice

An Internal Conflict Concerning Roses & A Review of Smith’s Rosebud Salve

For years, I hated roses, and I mean really truly detested the scent.  I even started calling rose scents ‘old lady’ and ‘bleurgh,’ both of which are completely unfair and untrue.

Then out of the blue, I managed to fall in like with Crabtree & Evelyn’s Rosewater Hand Therapy, and had to relax my rose-hating philosophy.  Want to know what I said in that review?

Yes, it still smells like roses, but for some reason, it doesn’t smell as cloying as some other rose fragrances do.  It reminds me of individual rose petals, rather than the whole rose, which for me is quite nice.

What does that even mean?!  Clearly, it was my way of saying I have no idea what I’m talking about, so I’m just going to say whatever.  Also, I actually do like rose scents.

The rose obsession slowly bloomed (as floral obsessions are wont to do) in the garden…of my mind.  By the time Smith’s Rosebud Salve came creeping into my life, I was head over heels for anything rose-related, and this is where our story begins.

My Secret Contouring Weapon: NYX Blush in Taupe

I hope those of you that celebrate Chinese New Year had a delicious dinner and quality family time yesterday.  And a wonderful new year, of course.  We did the whole red-envelope-under-pillow-only-eat-a-bite-of-the-fish-plus-red-underwear-and-a-billion-other-traditions-thing, and I baked blueberry muffins.  Because, you know, dragons like blueberry muffins and it’s the year of the dragon.

Switching gears to coherent beauty talk…

For the longest time, I thought I couldn’t get the hang of contouring.  Each time I’d try it, I wound up looking ridiculous.  Maybe I’ve smacked my head on too many walls, because it never occurred to me that it was the color and not the technique that was the issue.  I’m on the pale side (think N15), but started off with pigmented bronzers.  Picture the Pillsbury dough boy with orange marker drawn on his cheeks, jawline, and down his nose.  Do you see the problem here?

I purchased this NYX blush two years ago, declared it HG (holy grail) practically on the spot, and have been using it ever since.  Why then, has it taken me so long to review it?  Well mostly because when I bought it, I didn’t have my weird touch nothing until photographed obsession.  Instead of snapping a picture, I just went ahead and used it like a normal person.  And now it makes my soul hurt to post a picture of a blush that is clearly past the prime of its life.  But I will do it anyways: