Let's Talk Tolkien

Let’s Talk LOTR: Makeup & Beauty

Let’s Talk LOTR is a weekly series of posts, sparked by my obsession with all things Middle Earth.  It’s also my way of dealing with the wait (for The Hobbit, of course).  Anything Tolkien-related is fair game.  Come join the fun and geekery every Sunday!

Yes, I’m going there (and back again).  On the teeny-tiny chance that your mind doesn’t immediately jump to makeup when you hear Lord of the Rings, let us journey into that glorious realm immediately!  Starting with this Arkenstone-inspired EOTD:

lash stamps via obsidiandawn

“The Arkenstone!  The Arkenstone!” murmured Thorin in the dark, half dreaming with his chin upon his knees.  “It was like a globe with a thousand facets; it shone like silver in the firelight, like water in the sun, like snow under the stars, like rain upon the Moon!”

-J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

I’ve just wanted to do that for awhile now.  Moving on…

Ever since fellow bandit Tracy mentioned that Arwen wears Clinique Black Honey lipstick in the movies, I’ve been hoping against hope that some company out there would step up and make a LOTR-inspired makeup collection.  Twilight gets one, Hunger Games gets one, I think it’s high time everyone recognizes the potential of a LOTR (or Hobbit) inspired collection.  So, here are my product pitches:

  • Black Honey re-released as ‘Arwen.’  Perhaps we could get the Evenstar necklace as a GWP?
  • Frodo Foundation.  I mean the way his skin glows even when he’s walking through dirty-dusty Mordor, it’s sickeningly unfair.  And how is it that he goes days without washing his face, and never breaks out?
  • Aragorn Texturizing Spray, because I’m convinced he single-handedly started the artfully disheveled hair trend.  Has anyone else noticed that the dirtier he gets, the better he looks?  Does.  Not.  Compute.
  • Legolas Conditioner.  I want effortlessly swooshy locks like his, so I can jump on horses and climb oliphaunts without ever tangling my hair.
  • Arkenstone nail polish…and not just another flakie, but something much cooler.  Although I suppose I wouldn’t complain if it was a flakie in Arkenstone-inspired packaging.
  • Galadriel Sheet Masks, especially since Cate Blanchett is the spokesperson for SK-II.  And her skin is so good she could give Frodo a run for his money.

What say you?  And if you were designing your own LOTR/Hobbit-inspired makeup collection, which products would make the cut?

See you next Sunday for more Middle-Earth shenanigans!

21 thoughts on “Let’s Talk LOTR: Makeup & Beauty

  1. LOL you are so right! I would do anything for some frodo-like skin, or cate blanchett skin – even better! XD And some legolas conditioner would be great too. His hair never tangles, ever!

    Love the EOTD as well by the way XD

    • Right? Their skin is insanely flawless, I don’t even understand how that’s possible! Legolas is like *walking through a swamp and totally spotless, tosses hair*

  2. BAHAHAHAA I LOVE THIS!!! All of it!!! You are simply amazing!
    There should be some kind of Hobbit anti-frizz styling hair gel too-those curly locks are always looking good!
    I’m hoping that some company does something for when the movie comes out-at least some MIddle Earth Nail Polish Collection!

    • hahahah had a feeling you would get a kick out of this one. Yes! Their curls always look so bouncy and frizz-free, let’s add that to the list. I’m really hoping some beauty company gets it together too, cmon guys the timing is perfect!

  3. Lol! I loved this post. And the EOTD! The flecks are amazing, I wish I could have eye makeup like that.
    I would love, love to see makeup items (like mirrors, brush handles) produced that had the elegant elven look to them!

    • Hey, thanks for dropping by! Glad you liked it hahaha. It’s actually lip gloss *SO not eye safe, but I did it anyways*
      And gosh, should have thought of elven beauty accessories. Highly approve of that idea, if they made those, I would be all over them!

    • aw thanks Trisha! I knowww, what is up with his hair? And we never see so much as a glimpse of a shampoo bottle…or conditioner…or heat tools…or styling products. What is he…born with it? I want to know his secret! Life is so unfair.

    So true about Legolas’s hair though!! I thought he was so pretty (Orlando Bloom is kinda eh to me) when I saw the movies and wanted hair like his…and perfect eyesight/hearing…and perfect archery…Legolas was my favorite LOL

    • bahahah ooglah-booglah, I like it. And this is so true! I’ve never found Orlando Bloom all that attractive (not saying he’s unattractive by any means), but he looks SO GOOD as a girly elf-man. Although I did like the whole rugged thing Aragorn had going on too, it’s a tie for me. They both have so much swagger, it’s ridiculous.

  5. OMG, this eye look is ridiculously pretty!!!! I’ve never seen anything like it! :O

    And it’s SO TRUE about Frodo’s skin. I think subconsciously that was all I thought about when watching the movie. Damn, Frodo’s skin is smooth. Damn, Legolas’ hair is so silky. Damn, Arwen is so pretty. Damn, Cate Blanchette and her SK-II regimen!!!!

    • Thank you Liz! I’m happy with how it turned out.

      And I KNOW, the more I watch it, the more I notice things like that. Apparently Middle Earth is the land of the pretty people.

  6. Agree with Liz, that is one gorgeous eye look – somehow glittery and sparkly without being gaudy or showy – nice work!

    You make a good point – how come LotR hasn’t got its own makeup line already?? WTF? I think it’s because it came out before all the kind of thing was the rage (helloo, Moulin Rouge should have DEFINITELY had a collection, if frickin’ Burlesque did). In any case, here’s their chance!! Dwarf makeup, yes!!! Oh wait…Cate Blanchett is in this one too (though not sure how big her part is)….that could work. Yesssssss.

    • Thank you! I was going for iridescent and shimmery, but not OTT glittery, good to know it came across as intended 😀

      Yes, bad timing guys! But really, with The Hobbit being released in December, a Middle Earth makeup collection would be the perfect way to tide fans over, don’t you agree? Speaking of Cate Blanchett…did you see her in the trailer? She doesn’t look any older! What is this?!

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